The Reason For This Brokenness

8:29 AM

Right now are you going through a time in your life where you feel broken? Or maybe you've felt that way sometime in the past? If so then maybe, just maybe, you have the same doubts that have come up in my life so many times. "God, why are you making me broken? Why are you allowing this thing to happen?"
For much of my tween, early teen years, and even last month, I couldn't understand why, and I spend a lot of my quiet time in the morning crying out to God and constantly asking "why?". I just couldn't see how a loving God could allow so much brokenness and  loneliness in my life. It just made no sense whatsoever, and I had no idea what good could come out of it. Literally just weeks ago did I finally see some of the answers to all this brokenness, and let me tell you that I've never felt so free after realizing.

From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2

I was listening to a CD I had never paid much attention to before. SideWalk Prophet's song "Keep Making Me" began playing and I just started crying. I will post the song at the end of this post, so I won't go into detail about the song but let me tell you what I realized.
If in my life as an eleven year old up until about thirteen I had had a lot of friends, good grades, all the answers, and never experienced what I did with the people letting me down and hurting me, if I had never been broken, I wouldn't have come running to God as I did.
He knew what He was doing when He made me broken. He wanted to take me into His arms, to cleanse and love me, for us to become best friends, and for me to have an ever growing relationship with Him. It's because He loved me that He did it - not because He wanted to see me suffer.  I honestly can say that in my life if everything had went right I probably would've been stubborn and wouldn't be walking with God as I am at this moment.
Not that life is perfect now - believe me, it is far from all good, but my relationship with Jesus is so much sweeter!
Now, don't get me wrong - I would still love and do my best to honor God if I hadn't gone through different struggles, but I would be extremely comfortable with where I'm at. I wouldn't have cried out to God and worshiped Him as I did. He made me broken so He could heal me and show me His divine love.
Not only that but I have been able to talk to, relate to, and Lord-willing encourage others that are going through similar things I struggle with. I never knew what good could become of brokenness but now I'm starting to see it's only because God loves me that He allows it to happen,
He gave me a testimony to share and I am ever so grateful for it!

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