Singleness and Completeness (and a Giveaway!)

7:12 AM

Photos throwback to last Valentines Day

Hola readers!

 I'm nineteen and I've never been on a date. Girls have asked me countless times if I've ever had a boyfriend and then ask why not.
"Because I've never found a boy worth dating."
I don't know if that's true or not - I've known lots of nice guys. The honest truth is, I've never been asked on a date, and I've never had the chance to say yes or no. Lately, that has really made me wonder about my worth, really made me doubt myself in the last few years.
I've crushed on many guys but have never appeared to have those feelings returned. This is both disheartening and can make a girl want to go into her shell and stop trying to be herself. It makes you doubt whether or not you're good enough, pretty enough...if you'll ever get married and have kids and have that little cottage in the field (dream home, folks).

It's hard to watch friends get boyfriends and get married, for me to receive wedding invitations and see baby pictures on Instagram. While either you feel me or you yourself don't feel ready for any of that, I realized that even at a young age, I thought a guy could complete me, be my better half, that all my insecurities would melt away when he stepped into my life. I wanted my happy ending that movies like You've Got Mail, While You Were Sleeping, and Hallmark channel promise us - that moment when the world is right because your dream is fulfilled.

We all have that image of what could complete us. Some people choose drugs, some social media, peer's approval, good grades, a concrete job, fulfilling a particular dream, or even clinging to old, familiar fears - we feel that this is what will make us better versions of ourselves, make up for the pain, give people a better view about us, or keep us safe.
Sometimes I fear that my dream of becoming an author is also centered around this idea of wanting completeness.

But nothing gives us that feeling we want except Christ. Whether you're single, dating or married, nothing or no one allows you to find yourself and who you are except the One who created you.
 It's that time where you can completely and utterly learn who you are and who you were created to be.
This past year and this current one, has become months of self-discovery, learning who I am. I don't think I could have gotten that in a relationship, because I would be focusing more on Us then Me. God has given me this time, this singlness that I despised as a young teen, as a time to grow. I've learned more about myself then I ever would have otherwise. I'm becoming confident in who I am - without a boyfriend, without my first kiss, without date nights.
This Valentines Day, as a single, really take the time to lean into God as well as the other singles in your life. Take the time to look at what you may be using to complete you. This takes all forms and can even be what's good but has turned into something far more important then it should.

Happy Valentines Day readers!

And because you deserve something for reading these rambles, check out the giveaway below made possible by the author. The book (Savoring Single) is beautiful and I've really enjoyed reading it! I feel very blessed to be part of the book tour.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

About The Author of Savoring Single:

Shelley Black has journeyed through being single longer than she expected and has since found joy, hope and purpose from a once begrudged season. She now challenges the status quo of what it means to be single as a modern-day Christian female, with a passion to infuse hope and restore joy to every single-girl heart. Shelley is a loving momma to her pup Lucy, is one proud “T” to six nieces and nephews and serves her local church in North Mississippi as the worship leader. Find her at and across social media at SavoringSingle.

 Official Website:

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14 of your thoughts

  1. Awesome post, girly! Thanks so much for being part of the Blog Tour!

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  3. Great post, Kara Lynn... love that last part about taking the time to look at what completes us. So good! Thanks for the @SavoringSingle Feature!

  4. Ah, I've had many similar struggles! Watching all my friends get married and have babies and wondering why I was left behind. "Why don't guys like me? Am I not pretty enough? Is there something wrong with me?"

    But YES, finding your identity in Christ! It is so crucial to understand His love for you and that, in Him, you BELONG. <3 As I grow closer to God, it gives me the security and joy to thrive in whatever season of life I'm in.

    Thanks for sharing your heart!


    1. Thank you for being so honest - and for your comment! It's tough, isn't it? I've grown up in a church without any guys near my age and when I worked last summer, I had to make sure I focused on being their friend and not wondering, "Oh, no? Did I say that wrong? Will they get the wrong impression?" It was definitely a 'be yourself' test! ;)


  5. I like your point about God giving you singleness as a time to grow. I feel the same way! Of course, He can help us grow through relationships, but I know it could also be a distraction, diverting me from making Him my life. And it's so true: God is the only One who can fulfill us. Thanks for sharing your heart, Kara. You are no less because you've never had a boyfriend, or date, or kiss. You are loved, infinitely, immeasurably, forever! xx

    P.s Did you have a chance to read Savoring Single? What's it like?

    1. Aww, thank you for sharing your heart - you made my morning. <3

      Yes, I did and it was pretty good! I've read lots of dating books and this one touched base on the heart - not if you're dating or courting. It was pretty much saying, 'wait on God's timing,' which I liked. The writing style wasn't very strong, but still good!

  6. This was so uplifting- thank you x

    1. You're welcome - I'm so happy you liked it! <3

  7. Always such a great reminder :)

  8. Nobody likes me,
    Everybody hates me!
    Guess I'll go eat worms.

    Yes, you ARE attractive. Yes, you ARE beautiful.

    Now tell me, do you really want a relationship that begins as courtship? Do you want someone to approach you with the intention of marriage? Or do you want friendship? Do you want to know many as friends, a few as close friends and one out of those as something special and permanent? If you're going to fall in love at first sight, I wish you the best of luck. You'll need it. That's NOT a good plan.


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