you will not win

7:13 AM

Throwback to a photo shoot with my sis 

You want me but you won't win. I'm tired of you on my back, looking over my shoulder, judging me for who I am. I'm tired of the lies, of the constant nagging, and I'm sick and tired of you winning. You make my so mad I want to cuss and fight back.
I'm never that mad.
But I am today.
And I want to let you know.
You will not win.

I'm sick of you acting like you're in control. I'm tired of you pretending you're on my side, when you are my worst enemy. I'm tired of you talking lies behind my back. I'm tired of you pretending you care.

I've never been this mad before. I've never wanted to cuss someone out before. Not like now. Not until today.
I'm tired of the lies you're feeding me. I'm tired of the lies you're feeding those I love. I'm tired of your destroying lies.
You have no control over me and everyone else. You act like we're puppets on a string and you can control our emotions.
 You'd like to that to be truth, but I won't allow it. I won't allow this darkness to consume me. I won't let you take over me. I won't let your lies consume me.
You want me but you won't have me. You want me but you won't win.
You're making this world go dark, but I won't allow it. You're making the depression darker and I won't allow it. You're hurting those I love and I won't allow it.
You're feeding them lies, but I won't let you win. You think this is the end, that the fight is over, but I'm ready to tell you...the fight's just begun. '

I'm sorry I'm not sorry, and I'm telling you to get over and get run over. I've never been this mad before, and you want me but I won't let you win. I will not stand to see people taken under by the lie that you are stronger.
I had a dream in my heart this summer and I will not let it die.
I felt a promise from God that He would never leave me, and I'm clinging to that with my last breath. I felt a promise that revival is possible, and I will not let you shake that.
You think you have me but you won't win.
I won't let you.

I won't let you win. I will allow God to be bigger than you, bigger than my problem, bigger than the heck surrounding me. You think you've won, but He won't let you. You think this is goodbye, but I hate to tell you, we're just said, "hi."
God's not through with you, and neither am I. I won't let you win.
You've think you've won but I just keep reminding myself, "I won't let you win."

In, out, I can't but God can. I can't, but God can. 

I'm barely breathing. I'm just barely hanging on. 
And you may not have my back, but He does. 

So rant over 

I'm going to be okay. 

"His Grace covers me. 
This is all I know. 
All I need."

We won't let the devil win y'all. This is an open letter to the destroyer of lives, the one we so often ignore but who is real and breathing and destroying. We don't have to fear him, but let's not ignore what he's doing in the world. 

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  1. Replies
    1. Thanks Evan - I don't know if I would call myself a poet, but thank you!

  2. Your words always strike me deep in the heart! I do believe and especially after reading this that you won't let the devil win. Keep fighting the fight! <3

    1. This post was written on a particularly hard day, but it's behind me now. Thank you!!!! XOXO

  3. The passion and strength in this is so inspirational, thank you.

  4. You know what, I'm reading a book at the moment and it's talking about desire and passion and how so often Christianity has become a formula to deaden that and turn us into passive people, doing the right things but without heart (contrary to Jesus who stirred up people's desire and offered them the soul nourishment they were truly looking for). And I just want to say, I see so much passion and desire and heart in this post and it's beautiful. I'm sorry it's a tough battle for you right now, but press on! Our God is stronger, and He has already won. xx

    1. Jessica - you inspire me with every comment, thank you! I wrote this after a really, really, hard day of work when I realized I'm so tired of allowing the devil to win in my community in and in the lives of those I love. It was a fight post for me after a hard day, and I so appreciate your encouragement. <3
      Love you!

  5. That was so pretty. Wow. Thank you.
    God Bless,

    1. Thank YOU. <3 <3 <3 I hope you have a great rest of your week! *Hugs*


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