love is scary

8:03 AM

Unedited photos of a little walk last fall to an old house by my grandparents that I found hauntingly beautiful 

Have you ever noticed how quickly we can become attached to another? Sometimes it's scary to see how quickly we can't live without a human we once did not know even existed.
I look at the people in my life that weren't there six, seven months ago, that I lived without all my teenage years...but now I don't know if I would know how to live without them now. I look at those who shaped me to be the person I am today and it's scary but I don't know who I would be without them.
When we look at how quickly we become attached to another soul, how quickly we grow to care for someone
it's scary.
It's scary.
And I'm not talking about fickle, romantic, I love you today but leave you tomorrow love.
I'm talking about pure, I don't care what happens or who you become, love.
I'm talking about love that hurts but you keep loving anyway.
I'm talking about never-ending, no strings attached, I'll love you no matter what love.
That kind love is scary.
It's mind-blowing terrifying.
That kind of love is rare.
True, honest, beautiful love is scary. It's scary because anything can happen. The truest, deepest, most beautiful love is the scariest.
It means that you most definitely will get hurt. It means that you will have to work to love no matter what. The truest love says that love is a choice and not a feeling.
Because love is not a noun, a thing -- it's a verb.
The truest love is the scariest and that's why the world has rejected this love and traded it in for a phony resemblance. Love has become a fickle feeling, a bunch of hormones bound to change. Love has become sex and drugs and getting what you want.
Love is now defined as tainted and stained and something bound to change.
But real love, true love...
it's not that at all.
True love has no strings attached, means that you keep loving even though you may not get anything out of it. I once watched an older lady with her husband. He couldn't remember who he was, where he was...she asked me to watch him while she went to the restroom. "Please," she asked. "Sometimes he wanders off."
I smiled and nodded.
And I watched the older gentleman eat happily.
He didn't even seem to know where he was or who he was.
But he was happy.
The wife returned, thanking me graciously and I walked away.
I had just seen real love. Love that didn't know time or limitations or barriers. Love that lasted. Love that wasn't about what anyone was getting out of it. Love that everyone craves.

Last fall I was asked to capture the last moments of a family with their baby girl. They wanted the only photos they would ever have with her. She never got to go home from the hospital. She was tiny and could not breath on her own. I watched as her family sang Jesus Loves Me to their dying baby girl. I watched as they prayed over her, prayed over death and darkness. I watched as they held each other.
That's love.
Love hurts.
But love is beautiful.

True love is being a friend to the one who stopped talking to you. Love is listening instead of talking. Love is someone loving you for you...mistakes and all and saying we're going to get  through this. Love is second chances and actions and keeping your promises. Love is not talking behind her back. Love is saying you're sorry even though they started it. Love is forgiving even though they didn't ask for it. Love is hugs when they're hurting. Love is beauty in brokenness and Love was on the cross.
Love hurts.
Many don't want to risk that love.
Love is chances.
And people are really afraid to take that chance.
Love is not getting anything out of it.
And a lot of people won't do something for nothing.
Love is putting yourself on the line.
And many people are too afraid to get hurt.
Love is beauty in the pain.
But pain normally isn't associated with love.
Love isn't sex.
But most people say sex is love.

Love is so much more than we take it for.
There's the faux love the world is going for because in that love we can put up walls, stay safe, feel good, have fun... and then there's the real, deep, hurting, scary, terrifying, anxiety inducing love. It's the kind of love most people dream of but won't ever reach for because it normally means you'll get hurt at least once. It's hard work and pain and beauty and magic and's not about always feeling good, about always having passion or just saying "in love" for the sake of it...
and sometimes it's really, really scary.
But it's the real love that's worth it.
It's worth fighting for.
If we take that chance.

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20 of your thoughts

  1. this post is beautiful, Kara. <3 <3 "love is so much more than what we take it for" <3 <3.

    1. Thank you beautiful -- I appreciate your kind words!

  2. This post is so achingly beautiful, I am speechless. I don't know how to write how much this touched me, but it did. Thank you. <3

    1. Aww, oh my word Gray, this comment made my morning. <3

  3. i have an idea over what that is like..

  4. Beautifully expressed. I hope you have someone to love this way.

    1. Aw thanks Ray -- I really appreciate your comment!

  5. My goodness, this post gave me chills! This was beyond powerful and I really needed this reminder. Love is not self-serving or boastful, but it's about what we can do for others because of what Christ did for us. Wowza, I adored this post! <3

    1. OH MY WORD ERINNNN!!!!! You made my day -- my week. I so appreciate you!

  6. That was good. Didn't know you had it in you! - June

  7. Kara, this is beautiful!! Just wow, so true. xxx

  8. Great post and beautifully put, Kara. <3


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