silencing the voices in your head |before they silence you|

7:22 AM

You're so stupid. 
I hate you. 
Can you do nothing right?

Water dripped off my face as I raised my eyes to the girl looking back at me in the mirror. She didn't deserve to feel success or joy. I hated her but we were attached for life.

It became a habit to hate on myself from an early age. I would angrily fling out words of discouragement and rage when I failed or messed-up or tripped-up.
And I never realized how, while I never self-harmed physically, the words I slung at myself were self harm...just in another form.
I've since grown.
I no longer hate on myself as quickly as I did in the past.
But the habit of talking bad, of listening to the voices swirling in my head, followed me into adulthood.
Those voices in my head that told me I was worthless, that I could never succeed so there was no point in trying. Those voices that said I was ugly, that I could never be loved by anyone but my family, that people would abandon me and leave me.
They felt as real as truth.
I accepted them and never considered they were lies.
But let me tell you something: We all have voices. Maybe they have never been as seemingly toxic as mine, but in all truth they can be. When we learn to accept the voices in our head as truth we are setting ourselves up to be far less than we were created to be.
These voices do not define you, but they can easily make or break us. They can cripple you, hold you back from your full potential, and take you captive.
"You're so positive," someone told me. "You're never in a bad mood to anyone. You're always happy."
"I'm the least positive person I know," I said. "With others I can be positive and give hope, but rarely ever with myself."
Why do we refuse to see the potential in ourselves that we see in others?
Because we see our weaknesses, our past, the darkness that no one else can see. Silencing the voices in our head means speaking daily truth to ourselves.
I've learned to watch how I talk to myself and about myself to others. When I look in the mirror, I never speak how I wouldn't speak to another human. Silencing the loud voices in our heads, means speaking the truth even when we don't feel it.
Sometimes the truth hurts.
And sometimes the truth is exactly what we need.
Our words hold power in both the lives of those around us and in our own lives. Speaking darkness will eventually affect the way we see ourselves and the way we live.

rejection defines my worth
my past defines my future
i am an example from God of how not to life
i am failing at life
i could never change
my mental health defines how i will always be
my thoughts are truth

Let me tell you.
You are not failing at life.
You are learning at life.
You are not too far beyond repair.
God is reaching out to you as we speak.
The rejection of others does not make you less. You are not other's opinion's. You are who HE says you are.
You have the power to change. Your mental stability does not define who you are. Your thoughts can speak lies. Don't listen to them.
Daily pep talks to myself have become my new habit. I watch how I talk to myself and how I talk about myself to others. When I look in the mirror I try to see who God sees.

It's not easy. Sometimes I still feel self-hatred for the girl looking back. Sometimes I feel gross and ugly.
But this does not make me who I am.
These feelings do not have to define me

or you.

Stop the voices in your head before they stop you.
Stop the voices in your head and do N O T let them break you.

<<<>>>quit letting who you were talk you about of who you are becoming<<<>>>
Bob Goff

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4 of your thoughts

  1. I've always done this, and I've been even worse the last couple of months, so I really, really, needed this. Thank you so much, I can't even tell you how much this means to me. Kara, you are amazing! <33333

    1. Thank YOU, girl! I've gotten super bad myself, and it's really time to step up and fight. Never back down. <3

  2. You words always mean so much to me. This is something I have been struggling with lately, and your blog feels like a safe place to say that. I thank you for that. Looping thoughts of self criticizing have been weighing me down but it is time to stop and become more aware of them. Being a friend to myself is something I need to work on. Enjoyed this post a lot. <3

    1. Aw, your comments bless me so much, Vanessa! Thank you for being honest. Keeping fighting the good fight -- don't stop, girl. You are loved!


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