journal pieces |august recap|

6:45 AM

|| August 3 ||
Why am I nervous, ashamed, and apologetic of my awkwardness, my lack of "normal behavior"? Why do I feel a need not to be me when the God of the universe is cheering me on and rooting for me to succeed?
Sometimes I cannot help but wonder if no one's opinions existed, if the lifestyles of others were a minor concern for me, would I be happy? 
Heck yeah. 
I love my life. 

To do:
Make kombucha 
sweep out car
order copies of the broken prince
charge camera

|| August 6 ||
I have good seasons and bad seasons. Right now I'm doing so good it's scary. I'm actually confident, I'm actually not overwhelmed. That's so freeing for me -- such a huge deal. 

|| August 9 ||
It hurts, God, seeing the lies people believe, the pain, the darkness. It makes me want to both shake some people good and light some love and curl into a ball and cry and never set foot outside. 

|| August 14th||
God, lately I've realized I've been trying to numb myself with internet, work, writing -- trying to gain distraction from my feelings and my troubles. 

|| August 17th ||
a boss who genuinely cares for her employees
Korin's encouragement about my writing
a car that runs
coffee (black)
french nails
dying blue streaks in Kailin's hair
hugs from Jeremiah

|| August 24th ||
I'm so tired...emotionally and mentally more than anything else. These last few weeks have been a whirlwind and show sign of slowing down. I haven't had a day to myself in weeks. My brain is constantly moving. I just need a few minutes to close my eyes and soak in some stillness. 

|| August 26th ||
I want to weep for our broken world who attempts to steal joy and create chaos and rip away the innocence of youth. Who allows kids to cut or commit suicide or hate the person they see in the mirror.
A part of me cannot believe that a child so young...

|| August 31st ||
I am 21. 
This has been my best birthday yet. 
It was simple and real. 
I feel older than 21...more like 31. In one year I've grown so much and God has given me so much. I've already happy cried twice this weekend thinking about it. 
Man...I'm crying again. 

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14 of your thoughts

  1. ah, Kara, thanks so much for sharing your journal <3 i loved reading it! you are amazing!!!

  2. aw girl you are so strong and inspire me, keep it up Kara!!

    1. Thank you, beautiful. Have a blessed rest of your week!

  3. Happy belated birthday! I adore this post. I love the little snippets. <3

  4. I loved reading this as it was somewhere between interesting and hopefull and showing a person's thoughts and enotions. Keep battling the rough hurt inside, OK? With God's help you done got this! And a great rest of the week Kara! And Happy (late) 21st birthday.

    1. Thanks so much Evan! I strive on, praying I am a Light. You keep battling too, friend!

  5. I love these little pieces of your soul. I can understand the doing so good it's scary feeling. But enjoy it and live it out. You're great! Remember that.

    1. You are such a ray of Light, Vanessa! Doing good is scary -- I'm so glad someone relates!

  6. Beautiful post! I love when people share little snippets of their lives.

    1. Aww thank you! I love reading about other's lives as well!


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