why are you still breathing? [learning why you're alive]

6:59 PM

Hola readers!

Friend: What do you want out of life right now?
Me: Um...I don't know honestly. I haven't thought about it a whole lot.
Friend: I don't mean just getting off work and going to bed or what you feel like eating at the moment. What do you want to get out of life as a whole? What is your life's goal? A lot of people go through their whole lives and don't know what they want or why they are alive.

In my brief stent in college I took a class to learn just that and it really helped shape my worldview and what makes me tick. It's true: We often don't know what we're living for, what inwardly motivates us, what makes us truly come alive.
When we graduate High School we are often left with the daunting question of what's next...and the years go by and you still don't know what's to come. I watch people fight for money and benefits, trying to gain as much as they can out of life, to not miss out, when in reality they are crumbling.
Maybe 21 is a far cry from old.
Maybe I don't know everything.
But I must ask you this: Why are you breathing? Why does your heart beat?
I believe that to truly live our best life we need to know what motivates us, know our inward self to improve and make wise choices as we go through certain seasons in life.
When asked what I want out of life, I didn't say anything for a long while. I stared down at my black Chuck Taylors and thought. I thought about my class in college where we talked about our goals and aspirations for life, about the moments I'm happiest, about the times that I feel truly alive. I thought of the little girl I use to be who only wanted people to know they are loved, who wanted nothing more than to adopt so there would be no kids without mommy's. I thought about the moments I felt alive: When a friend asked me to pray for her, when she confided in me and I hugged her because I didn't have the words...and later she told me thank you...even though my arms had been my only source of comfort.
I looked at my friend. "I guess what I want out of life is for people in the world to know they are loved."
 I realize that I am always seeking to help others know they are valued and loved and for them to find healing in their brokenness.
This is my purpose, this is what makes like meaningful to me. This is why I can say there is hope for tomorrow, what I strive towards, what brings light into my world.
While this truth is only a small part of who I am, this is what I truly feel I was created for: this is my life's purpose, what I hope to look back on at the end of my life and say, "I did it."
This answer has helped me make choices in life. Each choice beats towards this goal, my passion, my highest aspiration in life.
This is why I truly know I am still breathing.
This is why my God gives me life: This is why I am alive.

Let me ask you

Why are you breathing?

What do you want out of life?

I have a purpose.

And so do you.

We are all wildly unique creatures. We are each destined for a higher calling. Maybe that sounds cliche. Maybe that makes you uncomfortable. Maybe it sounds more BS than reality.
But it's not supposed to "feel" like anything.
It's truth and that is what matters in the end.
Most of us go through life not knowing what we desire out of it. We live life...and die.
That's a sad thought.

Photo from spending the weekend with a fellow Kara

During my class they asked me to write down the answers to questions similar to the following and then look for "golden threads" and themes that seem to circle my life. This shed light on who I am, helped me to better understand myself.
It made my goals for each year a little more clear, my life a little more vivid. 
Below I've listed the questions for you. 
If you haven't before: Answer them.
Answer them honestly, answer them without overthinking. 
And look for your own golden threads. 
  • What is going to matter to me most at the end of my life?

  • When are you the happiest?

  • What were your favorite activities growing up?

  • What is your favorite quote that motivates you?

  • What is your favorite book and/or movie? This may sound trivial but often the stories we love most can mirror are own desires and dreams and aspirations.

  • What is your Enneagram number? Do you find the results true? Write down those truths. Again, this may sound trivial or silly, nor do I expect the results to define you, HOWEVER these tests can show us what motivates us as well as our failings and growing points. 

  • What activities make you feel alive?

  • How do you enjoying serving those around you?

  • If you could answer the question "what do I want out of life?" what would your answer be?

  • What are dreams that truly matter matter to you?
OK this is another one of my passions: Seeing people learn there's. What golden threads do you see!?

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3 of your thoughts

  1. Very thought provoking. Great post! :)


  2. I was left with that question, why am i still breathing, on Christmas eve. I almost made the call to end my life finally, but some words someone had told me made me think about things, how people do care about me. In my life what I want to do is keep others from ending their lives, help show others there is indeed hope and use my gift of empathy and emotions for God's glory. Let people know how much they truly are worth, even if it don't seem like it.

  3. I love your honest way of writing and your bold expression of who you are. I found this post inspiring and it urged thoughts into play. Thank you for sharing- I am musing over my own golden threads as we speak.



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