Dear Ladies: Act Like It

7:24 AM

Dear Ladies,
I'm not too happy with my fellow women right now. I'm honestly not. It's not all of you. It's a whole lot of you, though.

This is an open letter to all women of all ages no matter who you are.

Lately I've been seeing ads in the newspaper for women to work with a local carpentry. They're not asking for anything but...well...women. That's the qualifications: that the carpenters are a certain sex.
And this isn't just here - it's everywhere. You can deny it. You can say it isn't happening, but it is. Women ARE being hired simply because they're women - not because they're qualified. Maybe it isn't happening where you can see it, but it's out there and I'm sick of it.
This isn't just stupid to be hired without being qualified, it's an embarrassment to my sex to be hired simply because I'm a woman. I find this ridiculous that they're using me and others to prove that they are equal opportunity employer. I find it discriminating that they're saying that I don't need to meet qualifications because I'm a woman. I find it discriminating that they're giving me special treatment because I'm a woman.

And I'm tired of women tolerating this injustice. It's not fair to us and it's certainly not fair to the other people already hired on. I think that the employers are wreaking the very image they're trying to create - they're they're playing fair and being equal by hiring women. What they're actually doing is not giving us equal footing with the man. What they're actually doing is saying we can't fill qualifications in the work-place and we need help getting in.
They're destroying the very imagine they're trying to create. And I don't think this is right, and dear ladies: you shouldn't either.
Whoever is tolerating this: STOP. You are getting special treatment. This isn't equal opportunity. It's people saying they're hiring you simply because of your gender.

But that's not all I want to confront in this letter. No, I'm not done: I'm on fire....

I'm tired of women treating men like dirt. I'm tired of women wanting to prove that they're better - because listen, you're not better. Isn't the goal to prove that we're equal? God created us ALL and calls us loved and says He has a purpose and a plan for each and everyone of us. What does that tell you?

But what I'm really tired is people saying that there's no distinction between genders, because dear ladies, God made us male and female and we're taking that away. We don't want to be ladies anymore, we want to prove we're every bit as good as a man, that we have to do everything they do or we're worthless, that we don't meet some unseen standards.
 We strive to do everything they can do. This isn't wrong. It isn't bad to do something God has made you good at. It isn't wrong to not want to wear make-up or watch Marvel. It isn't wrong to wear baseball caps. It isn't wrong to be able to fix a car better then most men you know.
But it is wrong when you don't act like who you were made to be. It's wrong to pretend you're everything BUT a woman and then when it comes time to be hired, you throw your gender in their face. It's wrong to do something simply because you want to prove them wrong.
God made us all equal - not one is greater. We can all agree with that so don't pretend you're better.


don't get mad at a man for holding the door open for you and yell at him that you're not weak

don't allow yourself to be hired simply because of your gender

don't prove you're better, that you don't need men.
Yes, God made us equal but we all have special gifts. Some are made to run like the wind, some write books in months, some can do math like no one's business, some can play sports like they were born into it, and some live just to try to prove they're better. Some women go their whole life trying to prove they're something they're not, trying to prove to the other sex that they can do anything they want. It's wrong. It goes against God's plan for creation.

And don't allow men to treat you like an object. We get mad at being seen as sex objects yet I see a lot of us eating it up. We dress provocatively, show off cleavage and flaunt our bodies at the beach. DON'T. You are worth so much more then that.
I'm not saying ladies, that we're wrong and they're right but I am saying it's time to reconsider the way we're living. I'm tired of the battle of the sexes. I'm tired of us trying to be something we're not. I'm tired of being seen only as good as how my body looks.
It's time to respect ourselves. It's time to be the person we're made to be and not some fake imitation that God didn't intend. It's time to be who we were meant to be. Follow God. Not the world.
Yes, some men are terrible, they're actions are horrible and make this world even darker. I'm not saying they're actions are OK. I'm not saying the whistling and catcalls, the abuse, the rape - I'm not saying this is OK. And I'm in no way saying it's any lady's fault! Please. Don't read my message wrong.

But I am saying that living - true honest living - isn't about proving ourselves. It's not trying to prove we're better then everyone else. Life is a journey, life with God is an adventure.
Dear ladies: You want to be seen with respect. Well, then my message to you and every lady out there: act like it. Act like the respect you want. If you want respect from the other sex then treat yourself as someone who deserves that respect. Dress appropriately, don't ask for hand-outs, don't use your body to your advantage, don't allow your sex to make you excel in the work-place.

Dear lades: act like it.

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8 of your thoughts

  1. Amen!! I agree 100%. Thanks so much for posting this, Kara!

    1. And thanks so much for your feedback Emily!

  2. This is by far the strongest post I have read about this topic. You speak true words and I am glad to have a listen in on it.

    1. Thanks so much Vanessa! I'm always glad to hear your thoughts - especially when it comes to controversial issues such as this one!

  3. that was a very interesting post. I completely understand where you're coming from. I think God created us all uniquely, but not in like "girls do this kind of stuff and men should do that." I mean it that all individuals are special. not all girls like wearing makeup, but some girls do. not all men like fixing cars, but some do. there shouldnt be an archetype for people because we are all different. thats what makes life interesting.

    as for the way women dress, we are stuck. we try and take control of our sexuality by flaunting our sexuality? and its a mess? because we cant win. Im reading a book called "Girls And Sex" by Peggy Orenstein and she talks about the complicated situation that females are in.

    over all though, I do agree. women can do whatever they want, but they are not free from the consequences of their actions.

    good post. I liked reading your thoughts <3

    1. Thanks so much for giving me your side Faith! I do believe God created us all uniquely but there's a fine line for us ladies between doing all what a guy can do and what a woman can do. We wouldn't want to see a guy flaunt himself in high heels just as a girl shouldn't act completely like the world's idea of how a guy should dress and act and make herself look like a different gender. While God never said how to dress and we aren't to conform to this world, we are also in the world and so we need to make sure we don't lead the world astray with our actions.
      Anyway, thanks again for sharing your thoughts! Always love hearing it! It's a struggle to live in the world and to be the lady God has called us to be, and I love how you strive to be in the world and not of it - I see that in your blog everytime I read it. <3

  4. Yes, unfortunately, girl power is overrated these days. Men and women were created with different purposes yet are equally loved by God. :)

  5. Wow-- that was so powerful and so wonderfully said, Kara! I heartily agree. ♥


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