i didn't realize how easy it was to slide back

3:15 PM

Hola readers!
I walked into work about an hour after I normally do. We had three employees working today. The bathrooms were restricted to just us. Tables blocked the path into the dining room. An eerie silence hung over the whole cafe.
What a wild last three days.
When I look back at last week or even two weeks ago, the comparison is insane. One minute I'm telling people, "see you next week," and the next I'm saying, "see you...soon....hopefully..."
What is this? How do we even wrap our minds around this panic?
I've stopped scrolling through my socials. It scares me and panic is the last thing I need. I've stopped watching the news too. Mainly I just read articles from my local area to keep updated on what's happening without the wide spread fear.
How do we cope? What hope can we give people when we really don't know what this is. Our generation hasn't had to deal with a crisis. We've lived decently comfortable lives even if it hasn't always been 100%. We've haven't had to worry about bombs taking our homes. We haven't had extreme famine and have grown accustomed to remaining connected 24/7.
And then this happens.
I won't go into detail because y'all hear me. Suddenly our world is not what we once thought it was. Suddenly plans are swept aside and we're fearing for our lives.
It's sickening.
I haven't stopped having the burning anxiety in my stomach in probably a week. I was doing so well mentally and suddenly.....I've taken a step back. I had come to the mindset that I was "conquering" and now I feel like I'm failing. What is this weakness when I thought I was so strong?
I don't know how to cope with this zero sense of control. I don't know how to cope with being an extrovert and locked in my home for who knows how long.
No control.

Guys, I don't know what's going on. I don't know how to cope with this. I don't even know what I'm trying to say or if this blog post will help you or make you worry as much as I am. This blog is going to become a house for my mind these next few weeks. If it feels like a toxic house for you to see me struggle with what's happening, I understand. Feel free to depart until I can get back on base with everything.
Until then, I will be posting life stuff, mind stuff, coping stuff.
I once said writing is my therapy, and that hasn't changed.

Thank you lovely readers for sticking with me through this. Let's fight together!

You Might Also Like

12 of your thoughts

  1. Oh Kara, i know exactly how you feel. You are so strong, and sliding back just happens with a worldwide PANDEMIC. You got this, and we're all in this together.

  2. This isn't the Andromeda Strain. It's not Captain Trips. This is perhaps the 5th pandemic of your lifetime. Is it a bad one? Yes, it's not likely to be anywhere near as bad as you fear it will be.

    Go and look at the CDC guidelines. Follow them RELIGIOUSLY! You can't find a mask? Use a gaiter and wear glasses. Avoid people and keep your distance from EVERYONE, including family. Read that last sentence carefully. Don't write yourself off. Instead make sure you're always improving you social distancing skills.

    Remember. Be positive. Be hopeful. Don't spread fear and DON'T BE AFRAID. Tell people "I love you" because that was always a good idea.

    1. That last line I liked a lot, "tell people I love you because that was always a good idea."
      Thank you Ray!

  3. It's a lot. I've been avoiding the news when I can too.
    Praying helps!

    1. Praying does -- God doesn't always give us answers and sometimes we don't have the strength to pray....but God still holds us.

  4. Thanks for this post. Covid-19 Came upon us fast. A few weeks ago people were making fun of it now we are suppose to isolate. Proverbs 3:6 is a good verse though it reads-
    [6] In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

    1. I know right?! It did and it's terrifying. Thank you for sharing Shayne -- for the for the follow.

  5. KEEP FIGHTING GIRL! We've got this because God is on our side completely. I totally understand what you mean-life has changed a lot for all of us. But God still holds the universe and each of us in the palm of His Hand and He's not going to let us go. Never. Ever. Whatever happens in our country, in our state, town, or even our home and among our families, He knows and He is going to help us get through all of it. I think God will use this time to draw us near to Him as we seek His face in constant prayer and come to Him with our worries. I mean, if nothing bad ever happened and life was grand, we might feel as if we don't need Him because WE'VE GOT IT ALL UNDER CONTROL. But something I am learning since the beginning of this year, is that I don't have it all under control. If I did, things in my life would be a lot different right now, but then, I wouldn't have time to write my book, which the time to do so is a total God-thing! Release. That's my word for the year and even in this time, it seems to be more than ever for all of us. Let's stop worrying and give all of our cares to God because He cares for us. Let's release it all to him.

    1. WOW that was powerful Hannah! I love your word for 2020!! Love you girl and we'll keep fighting together. *Hugs*

  6. Praying for you, friend! <3


    1. Right back at you, my friend. Your prayers mean the world to me. <3 <3


Comments make me smile, lift my spirits and give me the motivation to continue writing. In return I'll comment on your blog, because you're awesome and deserve it.